Sorting Things

It's gorgeous today. My Corgi, Misty, is asking for love and pawing me to squeeze her ruff around her neck. The dogs spent most of the day outside.

I tried to be with Ed. We tried sitting by the pond, but his head started to hurt. We hemmed and hawed about calling the clinic regarding a slight fever and throat pain, finally giving in. We're new at this. The clinic understands, and really, should his temp rise, we must go in. They said we should watch the temp, but stay at home. We want to stay home.

Margaret is on her way northward. She was stopped at the border and had to pay for a work permit. For doing volunteer work. Unpleasant surprise. Can you believe it? Things have certainly changed.

Cats are settling. I am sorting. Stuff needs attention. Ed waits. Blackberry is never far from Ed. She is a true sentinel. It's really touching.

I think about hardship. I think about pain and suffering. I think about loss.

It isn't as if I haven't been through "trials" before:

unemployment
miscarriage
sickness/disease
rape
poverty (yes, we qualified for food stamps at one time in our married life---but managed without)
rejection
failure
neurological issues galore...
leukemia
cancer

What about the day-to-day failures we have all experienced?

Bitterness and anger
Greed and envy
Pride and lust, gluttony and sloth?
Disappointments 
Failure to accomplish goals
to finish projects
to do the "right" thing,
whatever that is...

What about these times of spiritual dryness?

Did God just slam the door in our faces? Why isn't He answering my prayer in Jesus' name?

Do I have sin that impedes my prayer? (The prayer of a righteous man availeth much)

Considering these things is always important. Truths are truths.

But here in the quiet of my prayer I see that God alone matters. His purposes are always the clearest and most peaceful.

My pain is irrelevant, really.
It is through weakness that He can show Himself strong, and God is a mighty friend.
God can answer any prayer, any way He wants.
I remember that sufficient grace.

He is my friend. He is my Father. He wants the best for me, for Ed.

Does Ed understand this? I don't know. He'll have to discover it for himself, as we all must. God is a personal God, desiring personal relationship with each of us.

I can sit here and know that He is my helper, my stronghold, my peace. Even regarding my trials.

This trial is hard to bear. I wouldn't want anyone else to go through this. I hate seeing my son suffer.

God hates it more.

But will He change these circumstances overnight?

He could. He can.

But not if it is for good. All things work together FOR GOOD to those that love Him. This is ultimate good. Not the tract mansion, the Audi (I do like them though, Ingolstaedter that I've been), the jet setting to the Caribbean. Those are temporal and worthless in my God's eyes.

My God values my spirit, born again in Jesus Christ. I belong to God, in Christ.

Death, where is your sting? Grave, where is your victory?

Nothing can separate us from the LOVE of GOD.

These things comfort me, not the things I covet.

God has promised all that we need. When it gets down to that we see how easily He does that.

And He gives freely His grace for the hardest of pain and suffering. Generous and just, so worth serving.

Maranatha!