On My Heart

As Ed has a respite from chemotherapy between the different treatment phases I pause to breathe and evaluate.

My own emotions and moods cough up their blues and anxieties every once in awhile. It's fall, and the year has made a complete circle since our first hints of bipolar disorder. I am a believer in bio-rhythms, that memories surface at different seasons, different dates.

There is relief that we've made a circle of a year, and that we are still here, still functioning, still going forward. All glory to God on that.

Milestones. They help us evaluate, count our blessings.

And there are blessings. We live in a warm eco-friendly house, with an acre of garden around us. We have vehicles that work, electricity to power our 1st-world lifestyle. Food of any desire, clothing to cover a village of people, electronics to amuse and assist, and equipment and tools to foster any hobby or interest. We have music to accompany our activity, music to comfort our spirits, to praise our God.

We have so much. Our sweet pets look to us for their needs, and give so much back to us in love and trust.

And we think about things.

I think about God all the time. This is a heart matter, and I'm writing about that today as the days grow darker, shorter.

It's Jewish new year today.

My mother has been reading Hannah Whitall Smith, and about her. Her ideas as a Quaker were edgy, but within the realm of orthodoxy for the most part. She didn't believe in hell.

I am not one to condemn people for their unorthodoxy. I maintain that God is always the judge, and it isn't my right to judge a soul.

I do judge beliefs though, because we all do. We all have made judgements on what is right or wrong. I believe ignorance is an excuse for heresy up to a point.

After all, we aren't all theologians and seminary students. I'm not, though I can say I've taken a couple of classes at two theological seminaries. Personal study is the ticket for most of God's people. God is the merciful judge.

And yet I keep thinking about heresy, about idolatry, about choosing the broad path that leads to destruction.

I keep thinking about putting another god before God.

I think about Satan's deceptions, his grip on people, and his ability to seem like an angel of light.

I think about the "orthodox" believers who stand firmly within the confines of their theology, be it Reformed, Catholic, or Spirit-filled. Each would find fault with the other, each would claim truth.

So what's a believer to do?

As God cares for the birds and the beasts of the field, He cares more for us.

He leads us in paths of righteousness, for His Name's Sake.

There are a plethora of  "discernment" ministries out there. I read many articles that point out heresy, and I appreciate the concern. I feel that discernment is a much-maligned spiritual gift.

Discerners rain on everyone's parade. Right?

Perhaps discernment ministries step on toes and make us uncomfortable, but they serve a vital purpose in our lives.

We must question the times, the trends, the spirits! We MUST be discerning.

Here is a question I have about Hannah Whitall Smith. As someone who doesn't believe in hell, that God is merciful to all, that trusted Christ Jesus as savior, yet had such personal failure and sadness---exactly what could be determined about her spiritual state?

God is the Judge, and I leave her to Him, but don't we all wonder?

If we make God in our own image, our own idea, defining Him in a way that we can accept----but not what Scripture teaches, WHO IS THAT GOD?

I wouldn't be quick to cast out someone like Smith. I don't know God's heart on this, but I do know she defined Him differently from what I read in Scripture.

I do know her son-in-law was an atheist (Bertrand Russell) and that you can't have your cake and eat it too when it comes to God. It is easy to claim atheism when you don't like the God that you've come to know.

I think many of my contemporaries just resort, (like Smith), to defining God as they like.

Perhaps the appeal of Islam or Hinduism is the definitive description and lack thereof, respectively.

Christianity is a religion of paradoxes. Once we accept that, we can go beyond ourselves. God loves, God judges. God chose, we choose. God is eternal, never beginning, never ending. We are never ending. Creation shows His work, however it may appear to us. His Word is definitive, is reliable, is trustworthy.

How much do you love Him?

Are you willing to see Him as He is, or define Him as you want?

I think about Jesus saying, "I never knew you."

My spirit gives witness that I belong to my Lord and Savior. I trust Him. I believe He is working in my complexities---leukemia, neurological blips and bruises, relationship scars, acute pain, and failures---and using my suffering to draw me to Himself.

Yesterday I was able to meet someone who believes in the Pleiadian race. You know, the aliens from the Pleiades? That he taught his beliefs to a group of school children at a special field trip outing was just a little bit unsettling.

Do know that such beliefs are fair game now in education. Throw out the Judea-Christian worldview and you open the door to demons.

Atheism is just a denial of the spirit and a lack of repentance. Idolatry, far more insidious, is self definition of deity.

I pray I never fall into the trap of idolatry. I pray this for my family and friends too.

Enter discernment.

Don't follow the Pope. Don't follow the guru. Don't follow the Luciferian (who claims to be the true god).

Follow Scripture. Try the spirits.

It doesn't hurt to try the spirits. DO IT.

Trust the Holy Spirit to be your guide, and believe the words of Christ Jesus.

Choose Christ Jesus, come in the flesh, born of a virgin, sacrificed on the cross, risen, alive, at the right hand of God.

Don't risk worshiping an idol.