Our pastor is preaching through I Corinthians right now. We are in the middle of the discussion about the body of Christ.
As I listened this morning in church, I was overwhelmed with gratefulness for the body.
I've always felt like an obscure cell in the upper arm, or something totally insignificant, but within the body of Christ I am feeling cherished and support from the other members, who are nursing this wounded cell back to function.
I do feel carried by prayer and help.
I have little desire to speak with anyone right now. My mind is a perfect storm of thoughts and plans and grids for ----the next thing.
Because I really don't have a plan for life without Brian.
This is wholly unfamiliar territory for me, as I've pretty much made solid plans and acted on them to the best of my ability my whole life until now. My plans were always Brian's.
Now I have to make decisions on my own, and being a part of the body of Christ, accountable to it, benefiting from it, keeps me in line and in comfort.
I am grateful that even though I'm weak and a very unproductive "cell" of the body I am still loved and cared for.
The body is grieving with me. The body is there for me. The body is my support system. The body is precious and necessary.
How could anyone every grieve without the body?
I am mostly quietly working on different business matters right now and sleeping. Do you know how wearying this is? Some of you do. I had no idea how tired I'd be, trying to work through deep grief, business decisions, and ideas for future plans.
I'm tired.
I don't have time for conversation, nor fellowship. I'm just tired.
I panic a little from time to time, but the Lord reminds me that he is in charge, in control, and the ultimate provider. Brian gets to be with Him, but the Lord will help me slog through the details of major change.
Don't worry, I'm trying to keep things normal and I'm not interested in making huge changes. I'm trying to keep things pretty much the same for the kids.
Some things must change, others can wait for now.
I'm thankful for the family of God, and that includes my own close family as well. We are able to do this together, one step, one day, one minute at a time.
God hasn't forgotten me. This is body life. Pain is just part of it.
As I listened this morning in church, I was overwhelmed with gratefulness for the body.
I've always felt like an obscure cell in the upper arm, or something totally insignificant, but within the body of Christ I am feeling cherished and support from the other members, who are nursing this wounded cell back to function.
I do feel carried by prayer and help.
I have little desire to speak with anyone right now. My mind is a perfect storm of thoughts and plans and grids for ----the next thing.
Because I really don't have a plan for life without Brian.
This is wholly unfamiliar territory for me, as I've pretty much made solid plans and acted on them to the best of my ability my whole life until now. My plans were always Brian's.
Now I have to make decisions on my own, and being a part of the body of Christ, accountable to it, benefiting from it, keeps me in line and in comfort.
I am grateful that even though I'm weak and a very unproductive "cell" of the body I am still loved and cared for.
The body is grieving with me. The body is there for me. The body is my support system. The body is precious and necessary.
How could anyone every grieve without the body?
I am mostly quietly working on different business matters right now and sleeping. Do you know how wearying this is? Some of you do. I had no idea how tired I'd be, trying to work through deep grief, business decisions, and ideas for future plans.
I'm tired.
I don't have time for conversation, nor fellowship. I'm just tired.
I panic a little from time to time, but the Lord reminds me that he is in charge, in control, and the ultimate provider. Brian gets to be with Him, but the Lord will help me slog through the details of major change.
Don't worry, I'm trying to keep things normal and I'm not interested in making huge changes. I'm trying to keep things pretty much the same for the kids.
Some things must change, others can wait for now.
I'm thankful for the family of God, and that includes my own close family as well. We are able to do this together, one step, one day, one minute at a time.
God hasn't forgotten me. This is body life. Pain is just part of it.
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