Re-set

 The foundation of my earthly life was washed away with my husband's death. Thankfully I am still standing on a bedrock of faith in Jesus Christ and I see His care every single day.

Each day is full of business matters, clearing up old accounts, organizing, resetting.

I feel like I am doing a massive reset out of necessity, but also because it's a great distraction to grief and all of the pressures that my husband once handled.

My "staff" has moved on. It's only Ed and Cheri at home with me now. Corwyn and the cats (the three: Gandalf, Topaz, and Predicate) are our comforters and our distractions. Caring for ourselves takes up much time.

Margaret is back in New Hampshire. 

Quite frankly I'm checked out of politics for now. My usual interests have no appeal these days. I'm simply trying to swim in a sea of grief, distractions, and decisions. 

When death comes with no warning there are implications. It's extremely difficult to know all of the facts and business matters, all of a person's responsibilities. I'm finding out my husband's huge footprint. It's far greater than even I, his wife, imagined. He had so many interests and abilities. 

Trying to figure out his tools and projects was daunting. 

Thankful for dear friends who assisted. 

I haven't even finished writing thank you notes. I haven't had time to respond to each of you that have called, left messages, written notes. 

I'm resetting.

It's very time consuming, very tiring, very difficult.

Again, I ask for your understanding and your prayers.

Here's some of our "reset" that I can share with you. Plans must be made, even when you desire to curl up under the covers and suck your thumb. I'm living still. I must go on. 

School (college) starts in a week for me and Cheri. I'm taking two classes, Cheri has a full load. Ed starts in September, also with a full load. We are all working our part-time jobs as possible.

I am turning Brian's and my old bedroom into a guest suite. 

I look forward to hosting you.

Corgi Hollows is becoming a Home-School Consultant Resource. I'm going through curriculum and purging, also gifting to young moms who are just starting the journey. 

We have planned a day in October to have our annual History Day and to celebrate the life of my husband. 

Brian's birthday was in October, and he loved having bonfires and enjoying the setting of Corgi Hollows. This past spring he worked from home, and several times he told people how much he loved to look out at the green surroundings of our home from his desk. 

So, October 10 we are going to do Corgi Hollows History Day, with special celebration of his life.

Come around noon. We'll have the fire going (or it will be inside if raining). We'll have hot dogs and S'mores here for everyone. At two o'clock we'll plan to have a brief service of blessing and memories. 

Come in costume as a historical figure. Be prepared to tell someone about your character, just a few interesting facts. 

We'll have hot drinks and water. I'd like to have a couple of you with a table of things you'd like to peddle, sort of like a fair, so please let me know if you'd like to have a space. 

I will never forget Covid-19 and its implications for my life, the life of my husband, his death, and all of our friendships and relationships. It's been stunning. My husband passed away from a heart attack, but death during this "pandemic" has been, of course, an effect on all of this life experience. 

We are all changed. 

This day in October is a small way to cling to what was once "normal" for Corgi Hollows. 

"Normal is just a setting on your dryer," Brian liked to say. 

Our family was never normal, whatever that really means. That's okay. It's okay to be different. 

I'm taking inventory of snow shovels, snow tires, and winter things. I have to. Minnesota winter in the country is nothing to sneeze at. Brian was prepping all year. The tasks fall to me now. 

I'm dragging my feet, (kicking and screaming!) but I'm trying to fill his shoes. 

Survival-mode has been my theme for the last seven weeks. I'm thinking it may go on for some time. 

MARANATHA!