Monday, May 30, 2016
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Monday, May 23, 2016
We laughed and remembered "blue moments" from our childhoods.
Margaret's friend gave me the book "Small Graces" and it talks about these moments that etch themselves on your mind, whether or not you want them.
They are good memories, mostly, and that is what we shared together yesterday.
The mischievous sock monkey that came on every family road trip. My brother let an alter ego play out with this favorite toy. Naughty monkey! It was confiscated routinely.
My eldest brother's memories of our parents' wedding. (Impossible!)
The pacifier that was pitched out the window of a car that broke a habit overnight...
It went on and on, and we laughed and loved.
I finished two weeks of frenetic cleaning leading up to the event, and I went to bed last night and slept the sleep of the just.
Back to the norm today.
It's a good feeling!
I hear bad weather is on the way, and I need to prepare for that.
A good friend is in the ER this morning, and we are preparing for a change of plans that include the care of his wife, who suffers from partial dementia. This week may go somewhat differently than thought.
I am privileged to care for another elderly lady who is on hospice care one day this week too. I helped her a couple of weeks ago, and it is a sweet and hard experience caring for someone so close to seeing Jesus.
She is waiting to go.
Birth and death are hard, my mom said. The process.
It makes me wonder. I haven't thought about the process much. It can be so quick for some----so prolonged for others.
My dear sweet "sister" became a grandmother this past weekend. We share this new role. Her little darling is a big boy, quite wearing out his new mother!
I was able to hold my grand-nephew this weekend. His smiles are priceless. Such intelligent eyes.
Little ones. What will they live? We love the excitement of the process of birth.
The process of death?
It's hardly exciting. It's slow, patience producing, and wearing.
It doesn't matter if we long for death.
I question it.
Life is precious. Even old, worn-out tedious life. God's designs are perfect, even in this fallen world. Remember that He even had the most infinite back-up plan for this perfect world He created.
It isn't what it was supposed to be. Yet it is infinitely wonderful in the fallen state!
Even death can be handled with His grace.
So we wait. We live on. We anticipate.
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Saturday, May 21, 2016
Friday, May 13, 2016
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Monday, May 9, 2016
Monday, May 2, 2016
I haven't even sent out address change cards yet.
It's on the list.
We've celebrated a year of holidays, bridal showers, new babies, reunions and plain old Fellowship.
I've mowed and raked and gathered the branches that our oaks have shed.
I spent today with the leaf blower. The south beds that make up a terraced rock garden needed to be freed.
There are ferns, bleeding heart, hosta and peonies thrusting through the tangle. I found some blue flowers that I can only describe as bluebells in full glory. There are a couple of tulips that don't belong, but I am letting them stay for now.
Spring gardening is so satisfying.
I've sorted, unpacked, discarded and pondered what fits in the new---different--- space.
Things that matter came into focus.
What a year.
God is good, and I think Jesus is coming soon.
Yes, LORD. Come Lord Jesus.
It was 1975 and I was a chubby preteen. Healthy, active, and thick.
My athletic older brother brought a lovely young lady home to meet our parents one weekend, from college.
She was tall, blond, beautiful, and thin.
Everything I was not. Everything I thought I should be.
It has taken decades for me to accept this, rejecting my own appearance, comparing myself to the incomparable.
Now I'm middle-aged, fraught with thyroid disfunction, the effects of seven pregnancies, and genetic determination.
I've been dieting my whole life, always resorting to banning sugar. It doesn't work as well as it used to.
Girls get hungry. Languish or eat.
I have found that the male members of my extended family really get a kick out of fat jokes. (Not my husband. He's too smart for that.)
It started with being called "Minnesota Fats." (How convenient!)
Words hurt. Words curse.
A young girl with the genes that dictated brown hair, short stature, and round shoulders tried hard to run and swim, exercise, and work that hideous form into something attractive.
A life's pursuit, and how vapid.
Our culture has ruled us insignificant. We don't fit the picture---at least in this part of the country.
I'm old now. I still hate the way I look, but I'm beginning to see that God had his own plan for me, including the way I look.
"Trim Healthy Mama" is amazing. For once we girls can eat without gaining five pounds.
I'm thankful for Serene and Pearl. They understand! They wrote the book, and found this incredible plan that seems to nourish without packing on the weight.
It's amazing. So many fat girls are finding hope for the first time ever. I am included.
So, this fat girl Sings.
And I do.
The struggle is over. I think I can keep this weight (and not gain) for life.
And guys, we short, thick girls are God's creation too.
Change your mind about beauty. It's not just skinny blondes that God finds beautiful. Maybe you are missing something. He made us, too.
I'll keep shrugging off the bitterness when you laugh at me. That's my problem.
Yours is to readjust your own outlook about beauty, and realize that words matter.