"Only one life, 'twill soon be past
Only what's done for Christ will last."

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Fortressing Again

Ed is recovering from the operation well. This week he had a little setback with a small part of the incision not healing yet.

This is discouraging, and a little infection was apparent. It's been one month since surgery.
We are tired and anticipating better health.

Dealing with deep things can be very exhausting.

I think it was about a year after Ed was diagnosed with cancer that I thought of a word describing my mentality during that time.

Fortressing.

It was a time of pulling back, healing, evaluating, putting up walls, recalculating, analyzing, reinforcement, quiet.

It was time to build up the foundations that had been damaged or hit by the enemy's fire.

Of course I'm talking spiritually as well as physically.

Going through a child's hardship is one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.

I broke my back when I was 17 (lifelong problems thereby), I've had loss of friendship, loss of dreams, loss of love. Loss.
But I've come through these things with God's help and simply went on with my life.

When my children go through the deep waters of pain or trouble I really feel it.

Of course I'm not in control. Never was.

I can't make it better. Impossible.

With God all things are possible. This is when I look to Him more and more! I can go through these times with His help. He makes it possible to get through.

Fortressing is a time of reminding myself that I can rely on God, but I have some responsibility to buck up and get my act together, too.

So I'm getting my act together right now. My dear friends know that my interests are so varied that I need to organize my time fairly closely in order to accommodate all the "normal" activities!  I am constantly reevaluating my activities and projects, my work demands.

I swam this afternoon at the lake. I found that the beach I had been going to was really weedy compared to the other one at the park, closer to the campground. It was a pleasure to swim today---the temperature of  the lake is perfect.

When one swims in a blue-sky-reflecting lake one realizes how small one is.

There you are in all of that water. You can't see the depths or guess the gallons. You are surrounded by tons of water held together by mud, rocks and sand. Northern Pike lurk beneath you.

It's rather awesome. You feel your fragility.

God cares about each human life in that lake more than he cares about the lake itself.

Of course we need to take care of the lake. I'm just pointing at the beauty God provides for us to enjoy. It's amazing. God is so good.

As a tiny human body swims in a Minnesota lake the picture of the totality of our significance comes into focus. We are significant.

And God protects us.

A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing.

I'm fortressing. I'm feeling the reinforcements even now.






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