After writing my post about anger last night I had some thoughts about expectations and their failure. I've written about expectations often on Corgi Hollows.
It's human to have expectations, no matter how unreasonable they are.
Because they are.
We all picture a perfect little scene---the brick house in the small town with a white picket fence, flowers magically growing in the window boxes, green lush grass, a sweet car in the garage that needs no work, 1.2 perfect children, size 8 clothes that fit to perfection for her, M for him...vacations, boats, jewelry....
I picture those things as "ideals" for this world. They aren't mine, and your ideals may be completely different. We subconsciously expect perfect scenes to come to us.
They don't.
Our expectations, whatever they might be, are completely unfounded. Completely. You have no idea if you will even take the next breath.
Yeah.
And I've found out the hard way that these expectations only lead to unhappiness.
I know someone who always talks about controlling personalities, and how annoying they are. They are! Controllers try to bring about their expectations all the time, even to the annoyance of others.
They may even use others. Controllers tend to be firstborns, and they see that ungainly trait easily in others because they recognize it in themselves. But controllers have to realize that their expectations are completely unfounded.
I am sort of a "firstborn" since I was raised virtually alone by my parents. My older siblings had little to do with me because they were so much older. I had expectations as a young child----food, shelter, clothing, of course, stimulating activity. I also had expectations of my parents and family.
At a young age my expectations really didn't often come to fruition. You simply CAN'T control people who are more powerful and older than you. I learned to set my expectations quite low, but still they weren't met. I can think of several moments that my "hopes" were dashed.
I can only blame myself. I had false expectations. I don't blame my family! I was wrong! I had a great family, with unusually great parents. But I was the problem. I had false expectations.
False hopes.
I've learned the dangers of expectations, but I still fall prey to them once in awhile. I'm not sure how some people achieve them, frankly. I'm not sure I admire them. I wonder at what cost these fulfillments come.
At Scottsdale Bible Church in Arizona last Sunday I heard an excellent sermon on James. The speaker was a guest from California. He had a very engaging and memorable message, all of it, really, but I was struck by the core of it---God is working through our struggles to bring about His plan.
So what can we really expect? God to keep his word. God to work through our pains, our struggles.
Expect struggles. Expect pain. Expect the end of all things to be wonderful as a child of God.
And that's about it. That's all we can really expect.
And that's good.
It's human to have expectations, no matter how unreasonable they are.
Because they are.
We all picture a perfect little scene---the brick house in the small town with a white picket fence, flowers magically growing in the window boxes, green lush grass, a sweet car in the garage that needs no work, 1.2 perfect children, size 8 clothes that fit to perfection for her, M for him...vacations, boats, jewelry....
I picture those things as "ideals" for this world. They aren't mine, and your ideals may be completely different. We subconsciously expect perfect scenes to come to us.
They don't.
Our expectations, whatever they might be, are completely unfounded. Completely. You have no idea if you will even take the next breath.
Yeah.
And I've found out the hard way that these expectations only lead to unhappiness.
I know someone who always talks about controlling personalities, and how annoying they are. They are! Controllers try to bring about their expectations all the time, even to the annoyance of others.
They may even use others. Controllers tend to be firstborns, and they see that ungainly trait easily in others because they recognize it in themselves. But controllers have to realize that their expectations are completely unfounded.
I am sort of a "firstborn" since I was raised virtually alone by my parents. My older siblings had little to do with me because they were so much older. I had expectations as a young child----food, shelter, clothing, of course, stimulating activity. I also had expectations of my parents and family.
At a young age my expectations really didn't often come to fruition. You simply CAN'T control people who are more powerful and older than you. I learned to set my expectations quite low, but still they weren't met. I can think of several moments that my "hopes" were dashed.
I can only blame myself. I had false expectations. I don't blame my family! I was wrong! I had a great family, with unusually great parents. But I was the problem. I had false expectations.
False hopes.
I've learned the dangers of expectations, but I still fall prey to them once in awhile. I'm not sure how some people achieve them, frankly. I'm not sure I admire them. I wonder at what cost these fulfillments come.
At Scottsdale Bible Church in Arizona last Sunday I heard an excellent sermon on James. The speaker was a guest from California. He had a very engaging and memorable message, all of it, really, but I was struck by the core of it---God is working through our struggles to bring about His plan.
So what can we really expect? God to keep his word. God to work through our pains, our struggles.
Expect struggles. Expect pain. Expect the end of all things to be wonderful as a child of God.
And that's about it. That's all we can really expect.
And that's good.
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