"Only one life, 'twill soon be past
Only what's done for Christ will last."

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Brian

A simple obituary in the paper cannot possibly cover the facts of the life of my husband, Brian. I'm going to write and grieve here, and I want you to come with me as I attempt to show you his innumerable qualities and talents, and this is just my perspective. I know that each and every person who knew him has a rich perspective of him too.

Brian was a genius. He had the IQ of Einstein, and he was humble about it. Encyclopedic knowledge astounded anyone who met him, yet some never knew that he was SO smart because he chose so wisely when he spoke.

As a child he battled osteomyelitis. He was a kindergartner, stuck in bed, so he read an entire set of encyclopedias. This clearly set him on a path of unusual intellect.

He was a Nebraska man, born in Lincoln, grew up in Omaha, went to high school in Spencer, Iowa after the family left the home state for his dad's new work in traffic control.

Brian was a man of faith. He asked Jesus into his heart as a four-year-old, clearly understanding his need for salvation. Thankfully his mother can tell the sweet exchange of that moment. That faith kept him through his whole life, marked his character, and comforts everyone who ever knew him now, as we are absolutely assured of his existence today with Christ.

He went to Wheaton College, in Wheaton, Illinois and earned a Bachelor's degree in English Literature. He was proactive in forging his own path and joined ROTC his sophomore year. He was commissioned as an Army Officer at his graduation in 1985. He was so happy to pursue a career in the US Military.

It was while being stationed in Augsburg, Germany he met many dear friends, and on a trip to see the tulips in Holland he met me, his future wife. (I was a missionary in Germany)

Brian loved Germany.

When his assignment there ended, we married and started our life together at Fort Polk, Louisiana. Our two oldest children were born there. We moved to Fort Hood, Texas after the birth of our second son.

After over nine years as a field artillery officer Brian chose to go back to school and become an electrical engineer. He earned a degree in engineering, electrical track, from Dordt College in Sioux Center, Iowa in 1998. Right after graduation our family moved to Minnesota (with four children now in tow) where he began his civilian career in the electric power industry, which he pursued and loved until last week. Our youngest child joined us in Minnesota.

Brian's intellect was so keen. He loved math. He was a judge for MathWorks competitions in the Twin Cities area. He had folders labeled "recreational math" in the filing cabinet. His reading list was beyond belief, and he could quote passages or pithy sayings from practically anything. He knew every verse of practically every old hymn.

Music. Brian played the clarinet in his high school band and the Spencer Municipal Band. He loved the clarinet, but his voice was so beautiful that singing became a passion. He sang in the Wheaton College Men's Glee Club, the Northern Lights Chorale, and the Minnetonka Chorale Society, where he had recently been elected to the governing board. He also sang almost every Sunday at our church, Grace Community Fellowship, as a worship leader up front.

He played church softball, or any softball that he could. He loved watching baseball. No one could have possibly known all the details of baseball like Brian.

Brian became a beekeeper with our daughter back in 2007. He quickly mastered the craft, joined the Minnesota Hobby Beekeepers Association, and served on their board for several years.

Brian rebuilt engines, did all auto maintenance, all handyman jobs, all yard work, all things always ----he was incredibly capable. He cleared our neighborhood in Coon Rapids from sand burrs without chemicals, by hand, because of his love for pollinators and his distaste for invasive weeds!

He was working on burdock and buckthorn out here in the country. He had endless energy for clearing things out.

Brian had a servant heart. No request for help was ever turned down. I never needed anything because Brian was so able to make it happen. This is not an exaggeration.

We loved going to the homeschooling conferences in Minnesota each spring. We both loved books, so we often spent hours perusing the used book sales area where we both indulged our thing for books. Homeschooling was a great excuse to stock up on books wherever we went. He always indulged my own wishes for art supplies, yarn, and pets (particularly Corgis) too. Faithful man, he never forgot to celebrate our special days.

He wrote the best love letters.

Brian was the best home-schooling dad. He only ever gave support. One of his favorite sayings was, "better late than early," and "somethings are too important to leave to the experts."

Those of you who knew Brian can probably hear him reciting his favorite quotes or quips like that. He had an apt word for any situation.

What did he love? His family! He LOVED our children. God gave us five amazing children, and they were his delight. He loved music. Brian had such a tender heart and was deeply moved by beautiful music. He loved history and books, math and science. I have never met anyone else so much like a "Renaissance Man" we read about in history.

He was eminently capable of just about anything. He was careful and kind to everyone. He expected highest standards from himself, and from others, and his quality control was always perfection. He drew great satisfaction from a job well done, and especial pleasure from a particularly tricky solution for a pressing problem.

He was a deep thinker, and we discussed politics, theology and Bible prophecy ALL THE TIME.

In our marriage I see a picture of a wrist watch. Brian was the workings of the watch, humming and ticking, making things work on every level. I was the case and band. Necessary, but only complete with the functioning springs and dials within. We were a pair. Brian and Con. Thirty years, amazing memories.

I don't know how life on earth will go on without him. Today I cannot even think of it, so I'm remembering his amazing abilities and his truly astounding presence in all of our lives. I haven't listed half of it here. Most of you know that. The funeral home asked for a little more information about his likes and hobbies, etc.

I looked at the director with shock. How can you summarize a life so well lived?

Last summer, when our daughter  hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, Brian was thrilled to join her in California for a week of hiking. He caught the hiking bug. He trained and prepped.

He was set on a new interest of trail hiking, and our trip to visit our daughter in New Hampshire provided the opportunity for him to hike a very small section of the Appalachian Trail. It's a very nice section, famous, and scenic. Many people frequent that section. Was there any hint of anything negative to come from it? No.

It was in that beautiful place, with fellow hikers, that Brian went to be with his true savior, Jesus Christ. I know without a doubt that he stepped into glory and he'd never want to return-----he met his truest and best love face to face. We all loved Brian, but Jesus was number one for him, and that was perfectly right. What comfort that brings me!

We live the appointed days. God knows them already. I still say that to myself when my heart sinks in heaviness and grief. Somehow that brings the deepest comfort. God holds us. He knows us. He LOVES us.

Brian would want you to join him with Jesus someday. Can you make that eternal transaction even today if you've been putting it off?

One of his quirks was ordering discount Bibles. We were both partial to KJV, but he did take Greek and German in college, so any translation that was consistent with the Septuagint and the Textus Receptus was okay. I have stacks of Bibles to give away, and I know Brian, in his heart of hearts wanted people to know Jesus from the Bible. I'm happy to give you a copy! What can I do with all of these Bibles?!! They were meant to give away!

Brian. Amazing man, all around, to everyone who knew him.

Miss Billie Jackson down in Leesville, LA, a good friend who has also gone on to Jesus, said once: "When I see Brian I just imagine that he is exactly how God made Adam."

Yes, Miss Billie. Brian was extraordinary.

I cannot fathom my own loss.




9 comments:

Anne & Lee said...

Thank you for the wonderful tribute to Brian, a testimony of God’s craftsmanship. As always, God knew what He was doing when He made Brian, put you two together, and blessed you with children. Brian’s love for God, you, and your children was seen again and again. Those loves, his service, his knowledge have impacted so many lives. We are thankful for his legacy on the earth and the eternal impact of his witness in words, song, and service to others. How good it is to see that he has made it possible for the Good News to continue to go out to others through the giving of the Bible’s. May they find good homes and be used often.

Unknown said...

What a wonderful tribute to Brian. I have tears in my eyes as I write this knowing all I've gone through as a widow. Fortunately, your children are a bit older but that doesn't change the fact that they will miss him terribly He will miss their graduations, weddings, and other grandchildren.

It will be difficult to live without him after 30 years of marriage. The only way to get through is to live each day as it comes and each problem that rears it's head. Your children will be a help and blessing to you as well as those wonderful grandchildren.

Know that we are here for you. Do not hesitate to call at any time of the day or night. I'm serious about that. We want to be here for you. We love you. We pray for Jesus' comforting arms to be around you and the family.

Unknown said...

Thank you Connie for such a great perspective and insight into the heart of this great man. As a true friend of Brian's, I want to say that Brian was/is a true friend to many. I loved talking with Brian...never a dull moment. Such wealth of conversation...a true kindred spirit. We connected on many levels: Christ our Lord, outdoors, sports, history, theology, life. He is very much missed. While my heart aches in his absence, I look forward to seeing him again. We love you our dear Connie and each of the family. Our prayers are with you.

Shari said...

What a beautiful tribute of a life lived to the fullest for Christ. I look forward to meeting Brian in Heaven someday. (And the rest of your family) I know you don't know me but I am the daughter of Judy Goddard Dolash, so I believe we are related. Just wanted to let you know that I have been praying for your family during this time as you grieve. May the Lord hold you all close in His arms and comfort you as only He can. Blessings, Shari (Dolash) Ogg

Sandy said...

What a beautiful tribute to your husband. I didn’t know Brian well at all, but now I see what a perfect fit he was for you! How amazing God brought you two together and I can see how well you complemented him. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you, Con. Praying God gives you and your family sweet comfort and peace as you remember your dear Brian. Continued thoughts and prayers for all of you.

Unknown said...

So very sorry for your loss. What an incredible way to describe a marriage built on the person of Jesus Christ. I know beyond a doubt the comfort of the Lord will hold you and being you a new sense of rest in his path for life.

Julie Sutton Music said...

I wish I had known him. Thank you so much for what you’ve written here. It’s evidence of God’s amazing grace that you were able to do so with such eloquence in the midst of your shock and grief. You are in my prayers every day, Connie.

Momma B said...

Your strength during this most difficult time is inspiring Con! You write of Brian with such elegance and love that I weep for you and your family’s loss! Brian was a extraordinary man whom I always loved seeing and chatting with! He was such a blessing to all he came in contact with....at all times! He will be missed beyond measure, but with comfort knowing he has gone to be with Jesus! Please accept my sincerest sympathy and know I will continue to pray for your family to gain some peace as you navigate through this journey of sorrow!����
Kindly,
Laura Brytowski

Leah said...

So well put, Con. Such a wonderful view of Brian. I pray that writing continues to help you through this time. Thank you, Jesus for our comfort in You.